With Age Comes...

OMG... this man... is not only the hottest man alive... he's so, so, so talented...

This is a show that will not be easily topped. I can't wait to see him again.

Tonight...

I get to see the new Sprint Arena.

Epidural # 2...

and no... not the kind you get when you have a baby.

I have 3 buldging disks and one with a significant protrusion that's aggravating my sciatic nerve root. Yesterday I received my second epidural injection of steroids.

It hurt. Bad.


I'm eligible to get one more shot before insurance won't pay... when earlier I was told that I wasn't a candidate for surgery, the doctor is now asking me if he's referred me to a surgeon yet.

So, it appears that somebody's trying to put 'Scraps under the knife.

I've heard horror stories about surgery, I was conforted knowing that I wasn't a candidate.

I'm not even 30 for Christ's sake!

So, once the soreness from yesterday's intrusion on my spine goes away, hopefully I'll be feeling better for at least a few months.

*Sigh*

I want him to be my new boyfriend...


It's OK John, the paparazzi wouldn't come looking for you on the farm.

How I Feel Today...

Rosie says it perfectly...

She's like a sweater, old and used
Tossed & overworn too many times through
And she used to look so bright
All her seams were tightly tied
She's like a sweater that's just worn out
Fading, coffee stained, and out of style
And she's just about to run
Before her stitches come undone

She's gonna pack her bags & leave
No more loose, unraveled seams
She is young & she still has her confidence
And it's not too late to tie up those loose ends

She's like a fire in the rain
His words will damp her eyes & heat her veins
And the love she thought she found was just another hand-me-down of ? grace

She's gonna pack her bags & leave
No more loose, unraveled seams
She is young & she still has her confidence
And it's not too late to tie up those loose ends

She's found a refuge for her face
While dividing her unfortune ? ?
Now she stands too high for them to ring her dry
She's found her way

She's gonna pack her bags & leave
No more loose, unraveled seams
She is young & she still has her confidence
And it's not too late to tie up those loose ends

I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day.

Life is so much easier...

...when you tell the truth.

That way, you don't have to remember what you told to who... and if you tell two people two different things, you worry about them talking to each other, and *gasp* what if they talk about YOU...

I've always made it a practice to not lie about family members and death/illness.

For example, even as a kid, I NEVER used a sick/dead grandparent as an excuse for not doing something... because, just think of it... it COULD happen and then I'd feel like shit.

Telling people lies is mean. Don't do it.

And if you do... feel bad, really, really badly about it.

Oh yeah, and I hope you get caught.

Tarot Reading Tuesday...

Love: Death

Touchstone: The Judgement

Career: Strength

You’re emerging from a period of loneliness today, Jennifer, with the resolution to open yourself up towards others and to accept the gestures of love and affection they’re offering you. Judgement and Death are signaling a new departure in your romantic life. This could mean new encounters or re-bonding with old friends and acquaintances – but above all it means joy of life. Make the best of it! Opportunities arise in your professional life that might well improve your situation beyond your expectations. Judgement is the messenger of good news, and Strength gives you all the energy and the determination that you need to seize the moment. So, keep your eyes open and your ears pricked. You don’t want to miss out.

Drum Roll Please...

As I put the finishing touches on my bag of goodies I shall take to Chicago... I'm thinking about all the hard work I've put into my new job. I love my new job!

I've been planning, along with 3 other gals, a very, very large conference... and after next week, it will be over and we will start working on next year's conference.

Who would've though that I'd be SO excited to work 15 hour days... I seriously can't wait to board the plane on Monday.

I cannot wait to see the accumulation of our efforts, all laid out nice and neat.

I'll take pics and share of my adventure upon my return.

Go Huskers!

Headed to Lincoln, NE over the weekend to attend the Huskers vs. Ball State game.



Football isn't taken lightly in those parts... they are FANS. It was crazy. I'd never have imagined that a college football team could attract more people to a game than could fit in the Chiefs' stadium.



W and I were two of like 85,000 people there. It was insane... in the fun-est of ways!

Already... Feeling Better!

So I had my appointment at the Pain Clinic yesterday.

Apparently I'm not doomed and under 30 after all! :) Yay!

I got my first epidural shot of steroids and I'm feeling so much better already. My disk is protruding centrally, so I'm not a candidate for surgery... Yay, Yay!

I'll go back in 3 weeks to get another shot, and see how I'm doing. Hopefully these shots will keep me moving and let me do the fun things I've always done before.

So, today, I'm feeling brand new... and couldn't be happier.

I'm SO too young for this shit...

So I have a hurty back... so I went to the doctor when I couldn't stand it anymore...

So... two weeks later... and today I get this shitty news...

1. Moderlately large left paracentral disc protrusion with mass effect upon the left S1 nerve root.
2. Mild broad-based central disc protrusion at L4-L5.
3. Mild bulging disc at T12-L1.
4. Degenerative disc changes (arthritis) at L4-L5 and L5-S1.
5. Slight retrolisthesis of L5 on S1.

So, my next move is to leave a message to make an appointment to schedule a "consultation" at the pain clinic.

I wonder how long it will take them to call me back... and then how long it will be before they have an opening...

Won't somebody give me some drugs to make me a little happier?

I might just pull this off...

Paid all my bills... with the check half the size it should be (due to time without pay from my trip to Kauai).

This makes this 'faux' Monday a little easier.

I *heart* DMB

Thanks for visiting last night... you guys rock.

How does HE choose?

Late Saturday night a friend, Coop, died.

Its been a little while, but I've lost MANY friends in my life. I just don't understand it. I mean, I get it that people are born and people die... but shouldn't good people have the right to live to a nice ripe old age?

I can be consumed by stupid and meaningless shit sometimes (see yesterday's post) yet there are things that are so much bigger going on.

Am I that self absorbed? Why does someone have to be taken to make me realize this?

Well, thanks Coop for taking the time to talk to the only gal in the room that you didn't know ... I'm blessed to have known you.

Umm... What was I doing?

So I'm working 2 jobs... to pay off bills. Stupid Bills.

And I'm working too much. Actually right now, I'm working 2 full time jobs... and you could say I'm pretty tired. Silly, Stupid Bills.

I haven't seen some of my best friends in months. And this makes me very, very sad. I hate you, Stupid Bills.

I'm almost so-tired-that-I'm-sick. And it sucks. Stupid, Stupid Bills.

I'm bartending now. I like it. I like the money it makes me. I like money.

Never again will I spend money on anything/anyone other than myself. Seriously. I'm tired of being in debt. Stupid Fucking Bills!

Sorry... I'm cranky.

My Baby... When She Was A Baby...

The Everlasting Souvenier...

So, while on our Girls' Vacation... we all got new tattoos! Mom and Aunt J got hibiscus flowers on their shoulder, Sister got a tramp stamp of hibiscus flowers... and see below... my newest turtle addition.





It really is quite amazing in person. So, thanks to Jarod at Farsyde Tattoo in Kauai, HI.

Yeah, he was pretty hot too. ;)

I just don't understand some things...

My Sister has decided that she's getting a divorce... and I'm devestated for my brother-in-law.

I always have thought that we was an angel to her... he's SUCH a good person. He's put up with a lot of crap over the 9 years of marriage (and two years of dating)... I mean, my Sister is HIGH maintenance, and at times TOO high maintenance.

And he was a trooper through it all.

She's decided that she's just not happy and can't continue to live her life that way.

I can't blame her for wanting to be happy. I WANT her to be happy. No one should live their entire live unhappy because they don't want to 'hurt someone else's feelings'.

I just don't know what a divorce is like... when there's not a 'bad guy'. My brother-in-law didn't 'do' anything wrong.

And so he's devestated... and my heart is just broken for him.

He's been my brother for almost 10 years... and now, he's supposed to be live evictecd from our family... it just doesn't seem right.

I cry each time I think about it... everytime he emails me... I'm also feeling guilty that I don't 'have time' to spend with him. Hell, he's invited me to dinner (I'm going) and we're not even going until NEXT Monday because I have to work or already have plans I can't really get out of.

I just feel horrible!

My First Kauai'ian Sunset...

It may not be the best pic... I took it from my new MotoQ phone... I'll update when I get home with pics from the camera.

Aloha!

And the countdown begins...

I've been a bad, bad blogger lately. With working two jobs, a sister in the crazy house and just too much to do, I've been away.

But those who work hard... get to play hard too! In less than 24 hours, I will be on a plane... traveling to Kauai... to be in tropical heaven for 9 whole days.

I might just want to stay there.