Thursday, May 31, 2007

I've been doing some thinking...

I often talk about how unlucky I am in love... about how my "picker" is broken... etc.

This talk puts me into a category of people I can't stand... the eternal victim.

I am not a victim.

I'm the one making the poor choices, I'm the one not standing up for what is important to me, and I'm the one who sticks around... delaying the inevitable because I'm too chicken shit to talk about the issues.

The fact is, without beating myself down, I could save myself a lot of heartache, or whatever, if I would just act like a normal person and when someone says something stupid I just reply back with something like, "Hey asshole, stop being a fucker!"

Then they stop... and I don't hate them. (secretly, of course)

Also, when something's wrong... I don't bitch about it to my poor, poor girlfriends... I need to face it head-on, take the bull by its horns... and get it over with already.

I need to learn to be a little bitchy... get what I want, when I want for a damn change.

4 comments:

Bahia said...

Just don't change who you fundamentally are. If you are being sweet on the outside, while cringing on the inside, then by all means, express your feelings. It's just never worth it to try to be someone you aren't. Especially when so many people like you just the way you are.

-Bahia

Anonymous said...

You are such an amazing person! I think you just care very deeply about other peoples feelings. Sometimes you worry so much about hurting other people that you decide that you should burden yourself instead of being honest and making yourself happy. You have to be honest with others to truely be honest with yourself. Don't beat yourself up! You are getting better and better at standing up for yourself and at being honest about your feelings! YOU GO!

Anonymous said...

Hey...if you keep hanging out with me you'll be a "Mouthy1" in no time!!! Then you can say "Hey asshole..quit texting me 4 times at 2am, I KNOW you're home!!"

Anonymous said...

Hey, I don't think it was your picker, I think you just ended up with some a-holes like everyone does. Don't worry about the picking so much and just let stuff happen. Easier said then done I know, but your a totally cool person and fun to be with, so anyone that didn't see that is a moron.

Code word: Sugar Smacks. lol