I used to be a law abiding citizen…

Last night St. and I went to get pedicures and dinner instead of heading to the gym… anything to avoid excercise, right?

We had a super fantastic time… until it was time for us to part ways. I believe it was typical St. and NutScraps fashion – St. laughing so hard she almost pees and me freaking out.

Here’s how it went down…

Driving down Ward Parkway, chatting it up and the light turns red. I turn on my blinker as we will be turning left to get to St.’s house. I make my turn and continue through the light ....

All of a sudden there are lights flashing and sirens blaring!!! I was getting pulled over!

NutScraps: “What?@#(!? St., am I getting pulled over?”

St.: “Yes! You need to pull over!”

NutScraps: “What did I do?!@#$?”
I am now frantic and remove my seat belt, freak out that I took off my seat belt but was afraid to put it back on because if he saw me, he might think I was just putting it on because I was getting pulled over… all the what if’s flowing at about 90 mph in my head.

Officer walks up to the car.

Officer: “Ma’am, why is it that you stopped, waited thirty seconds and then turned with me right behind you?”

NutScraps: “I don't understand... I had my blinker on.”

Officer: “Yes, but you made a left hand turn at a RED LIGHT.”

NutScraps: “WHAT!?! St.! Did I run a red light?!? Oh my God, I DID run a red light!”

St.: “HAHHA! HAHAHAH! AAHAH! AHAH!!!” (laughing hysterically)

Officer: “And when I pulled up the guy who was stopped next to you looked over at me, and I HAD to pull you over.”

NutScraps: “Oh my goodness! I didn’t even know that was a red light!”

St.: “HAHHA! HAHAHAH! AAHAH! AHAH!!!” (continues to laugh hysterically)

Officer: “What exactly was going on that you didn’t realize the red light?”

NutScraps: “I don’t know… we were just talking… oh my God, I am SO SORRY.”

Officer: “Can I see your license please?”

Officer takes NutScrap’s license back to his patrol car.

St.’s husband, walking by with the dog… “You have NO respect for the law!!! Officer, she has no respect for the law!”

NutScraps: “Shut up! I do too!

Officer walks back to the car.

Officer: “Let’s evaluate the situation… You ran a red light and you’re not wearing a seat belt.”

NutScraps: interrupting Officer “But I was wearing my seat belt! I just started to freak out… I haven’t been pulled over since I was 18 years old!”

Officer: interrupting NutScraps “Wait! I didn’t see you with your seatbelt on.”

NutScraps: “OK, sorry.”

Officer: “You don’t even have as much as a speeding ticket on your record. So, I want to you save your deep meaningful conversations with friends for home… not while you're driving. Here’s your license, drive save tonight.”

NutScraps: “Oh, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, again, I am SO SORRY.”

And St. was still laughing… I think she’s the real reason I didn’t get a ticket.

It’s so funny… we were just talking about warnings from police. I’ve never gotten a warning… but I have gotten 2 speeding tickets. I’ve now received my warning and I will try really hard to be a very attentive driver from now on.

I was in frantic mode for about 15 more minutes, and then relived the whole thing when I got home and gave SHD the same play-by-play you’ve just read. He wasn't surprised... he actually said that a bomb could go off and if St. and I were talking, we'd never know what happened.

I wanted to add a pic of me and St. taken a few months ago at our friend, Mrs. Ireland's wedding. It shows this situation perfectly... St. laughing her ass off... and me in panic mode (she'd just popped off my toenail!). But Blogger is not working, so I'll have to post it later. :(

What’s really in a nickname?

Do we even really consider them “nicknames”?

My family thinks it’s really strange that I’ve always had nicknames and all my friends have also.

It really is their fault… I mean there are like 3 million Jennifers in the world. I even recall the story of when I was born and the nurse asked my Mom what my name would be. My Mom said, “her name is Jennifer”… and the nurse replied with, “really? There’s already been twelve other Jennifers this week”.

There were at least ten Jennifers in my grade growing up so to be different we all had nicknames.

The first ones were JT or Jen T. Then there was junior high where I was SuperTube and TubeSocks on the co-ed volleyball team. Then in high school I was Flo for a bit then I started working restaurants which led to TubeSwing and eventually just Tubes. Tubes stuck with me all through my Outback years… actually, some people didn’t even know my real name.

After Outback I was just Jen… then I had a stint in the virtual world as Ketura... and now I’m Nutscraps or Scraps.

My sister thinks it’s really strange. She doesn’t understand why we don’t just call each other by our names. She doesn’t have nicknames and none of her friends do either.

Why do some people have nicknames and others don’t?

Is it because I am a part of a fantastic-creative-free-living-spirited-left-brained bunch and my sister is a financial analyst (square)?

Everybody’s got demons, right?

I mean, those things that no matter what good things are going on in your life… even when most everything in your life is going good… those things that get you down, and it seems like no one can make it better?

I’ve been dealing with some demons… my very own demons.

Lots of great things have been going on. SHD and I celebrated a wonderful anniversary weekend, we’ve gone out and done fun things, we’re planning our next trip to Las Vegas next January, we’ve been spending time with our great circle of friends, I’m compiling a list of all the songs that make me feel good, I mean - I could go on and on.

I’ve been having a lot of fun!

And still, I find it hard to get out of bed each morning. Not because I dread the day to come… I’d just rather sleep.

I’m just so tired.

I can tell you though… I’m SUPER excited that it’s Fall once again. Fall is my all-time favorite season. I looooove Fall.

I’m getting ready for some quality hammock lounging time with my honey.

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

I love checking out the entertainment section on MSN.com... I'll admit I find celebrities and their lives just that... entertaining. They chose that life for themselves, if there weren't people like me, they wouldn't be popular, right?

Enough already with Tom Cruise being in the media!

The next Howard Hughes? Pft! He’s a fruitcake yes; do I think he’s fruity? Who cares?

The latest news reads something about someone publishing a book with a chapter revealing him and his gay lifestyle… as long as you’re not Katie Holmes, why do we care? If he’s gay, great! If he’s not, great! It’s none of our business!

And all the hype about their baby? People actually speculating that there wasn’t a baby? Geez people! I’m sure Katie walked around looking like a continent just for show, right? If I was her, I’d be afraid to show my baby… people are crazy. I mean, Rosie O’Donnell didn’t show pictures of her kids for like years!!! There was no, “where’s Parker” hype.

Let’s move on… let’s leave them alone. I’m so over them… as should everybody else.

I'm getting all giddy inside...

Saturday, SHD and I celebrate the one year anniversary from our first date...

I remember it like it was yesterday. *sigh*

We went for drinks on the 14th, our first date was on the 16th, I knew I was in love on the 19th.

I think September is a good month for me.

We decided to get a suite at Ameristar on Sunday (to save some $) night, eat dinner at Bugatti's and drink lots of wine... I'm sure there will be some gambling... Ameristar, please be as kind as the Isle of Capri.

Career Dilemmas...

It’s no secret that I’m looking for a new job. I’ve been looking since January. I sent out probably 100 resumes and I’ve only had two interviews (one resulted in a second interview).

I’ve been told by my father that I’m “doing the same thing again and expecting a different result” which is the recipe for insanity. I think that’s a quote by someone dead and famous, but I don’t know who.

I don’t like my job being an admin… yet I keep applying for admin positions. What exactly am I looking for? I still have no idea what I really want to do, and believe me, I’m not being lazy and just going along with the daily grind. I’ve really thought about this. And yet I still don’t know.

I’m debating a few things right now…

I could apply to be a Police 911 dispatcher… I knew a guy (who’s now a KCK police officer) who told the greatest stories of being a dispatcher while in high school. I think I might like that.

Also, here at the hospital, they’ve offered to pay for classes to become a certified coder. It would be a year of schooling (online) and I would be required to work at the hospital for one full year after completion of the classes (or pay back the fees)… I would audit patient accounts and make sure they are coded (charged) correctly. There is high demand for coders... and it's possible that down the line I could telecommute... which I think I would love. It's using numbers and looking at charts and symbols and technical stuff... not really a social job, I know.

Since I don’t know what I want to do… it seems that someone offering to pay for me to learn something new sounds like a smart move. Knowledge is power, right?

I know I don’t like what I’m doing now, but will I like doing what I’m doing here somewhere else?

Just a few Scraps…

This weekend was pretty mellow. SHD is sick with the sore throat/now hurty coughing sickness. He rested and I boosted my immune system all weekend long.

The little girl came over on Saturday evening… the moment I opened the door, she said, “I’m sorry for what happened last week”.

I took the opportunity to have a talk with her then let her play with the dogs. The biggest challenge was getting Lucy to go outside with us… she’s really hesitant to be around the Little Girl. I explained that Lucy’s feelings were really hurt and she’s afraid that LG might hit her again. I told her that if she did hit her again, I’m afraid that Lucy would bite her. I made LG promise that she would never hit Lucy again, and she did. I also told her, that because Lucy needs to trust her again, I needed to be outside with her if she is in the yard.

So, situation over (hopefully) and I no longer have to worry about it. Oh, and I really don’t hate kids, really… I was having a manic week when that all happened and was a little clouded to see beyond my own little space. She’s not going to grow up to be a serial killer. She’s just a little girl who made a mistake… as long as she doesn’t do it again, we’re all good.

Sunday was my last weekend shift at the pet store. I’m just so tired of shuffling everything around to manage it. Hopefully now, I’ll feel more relaxed and able to stop multi-tasking my personal life. This is a good thing. My last shift is this Thursday.

Does anyone else feel this way about post-its? I was a little bummed this morning. I used my very last pink post-it. I love colored (not yellow) post-its; actually, I love the pink and like the green ones. But we are out of colored post-its, so I must use the yellow ones. Ugh...

No title today, just getting by...

I’m tired. That’s my excuse, my excuse for being MIA… cause it’s not like I don’t have plenty to talk about.

SHD and I had a super busy but super fun Labor Day weekend.

First and foremost… you are reading the words of the luckiest girl in the world (at least last Friday evening at the Isle of Capri casino, that is). We’d never been to the Isle and were celebrating with friends…

I’m not a high stakes gambler, actually it makes me a little sick to lose my money, so I play the video slot machines… in the penny denomination. Even while playing penny slots, I’m still quite conservative. I’ll play 10 or 15 lines, but I only bet one penny per line… that’s just the way I roll (er… spin).

After losing $10 on a silly Taxi slot, I sat down at the Enchanted Unicorn, next to SHD on a Kenny Rogers slot. I played down to about $4 when I hit 3 WILD ENCHANTED UNICORNS!!! What does this mean? It means that the nine middle squares all turned WILD and I won 67400 pennies!!! I won $674.00 on a 15 cent spin!

It was cool… I was a little overwhelmed, and had to call my Mom, but all was good. I bought a few rounds of drinks and left with about $650 in my pocket. That, my friends, just paid the sales tax on my new car.

After almost killing my dear Beagle, Sammy on Saturday (I have a horrible burn on my foot from his lead in the yard), we packed up the new Element in our little family and headed East (ask SHD about the headache on the drive, hee hee)… en route to Rocheport, specifically Les Bourgeois winery. We checked in our bags, met up with friends (B and E) at the Days’ Inn in Columbia and headed to the A Frame, a great outdoors place that overlooks the Missouri River Valley. It was so nice. The weather was perfect, the food was great and the friends and conversation were fantastic. We had an absolutely amazing time. I know we'll plan another trip out there this Fall.

After about five hours, approximately six bottles of wine and many drunken pictures on the way up to the parking lot, we taxi’d it back to the Days’ Inn… and it was only 9:30pm! After a few minutes of conversation, this Scraps passed out cold.

We woke up on Sunday morning about 8:30am to have time to search for an IHOP (no laughing!) and ended up at a Country Kitchen just off the highway. I was H-U-N-G-O-VE-R, yes, in all caps, spaced out like that and in green. I was the only one who was hungover! I swear, it wasn’t fair. SHD was dancing a little jig around me in the hotel room, just the movement alone was almost enough to make me hurl. Our day had just begun… I knew it was going to be a long… albeit fun, one.

The drive home was just darn painful. I felt like I was dying… and SHD was in the passenger’s seat lounging it up, even yawning some... I hit him a few times.

Once home, I napped for about 30 minutes, then it was off to L and St.’s house for a quick appearance at their BBQ. I was so happy to meet L’s Mom, she really seemed great. I wish I had been in better spirits, I’m sure I could have chatted her ear off. And I wish I could have been there for the encounter with the neighbors... fucking weirdos.

Just as soon as we’d arrived, it seemed we were leaving (which made me a little sad), this time I made SHD drive, we were headed north to Platte City for SHD’s Dad’s birthday gathering. I really enjoy getting together with my boyfriend’s family… they really are really great. After a few sips of a Bloody Mary (I think K suggested this at the BBQ) the headache was better and I was back in the game… at least a little more in the game.

Monday was a day of healing… I slept in, mowed the lawn and watched the Law and Order, SVU marathon on TNT.

Tuesday I put my two weeks (minus one day) in at the pet store… it’s just taking too much time away from other things that are important to me… I will be missing that extra paycheck every two weeks though.

If you’ve read this… you’re either overly interested in the daily dealing of good ole’ Nutscraps, or you’re really bored. Either way is good for me.

So, I still feel like I’m recovering. But, just so you know, if you ever need a gift idea for me… I LOVE Fleur De Vin from Les Bourgeois. Support your local wineries! I do... now.

My new friend... Roger.

Look to the right and meet Roger.

When you scroll over the image, you will see a red arrow. Click the arrow in the water and Roger will go for a swim. Awww. ;)

Also, he will look towards the red arrow.

Yeah, I know I'm a dork.

Have a great holiday weekend... I'm stoked, I actually get Monday off!

Thanks Dad, I love the email...

This is an email I just received from my Father... God, I love him.

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT,DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names ofcountries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict.This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York!

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin." Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America . It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America . Thank you and good night. If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

If only...